Making time for more things is hard. Is being active in the faith community worth it?
I am an introvert to the highest extreme. I find a lot of peace in being alone. Most of my interests are things I prefer to do solo: reading, writing, listening to music.
But as much as I love my alone time, I have to remember that being around other people is vital to my growth. Without other people in my life pushing me, I have a tendency to start thinking that I can do everything on my own. Spoiler Alert: I can’t.
WE WERE CREATED FOR COMMUNITY
A friend once shared with me that she was convinced God didn’t create us to be alone. “Think about it,” she said. “When God created Adam, everything was perfect. God walked with him and provided everything he needed. But God knew he needed another person like him.” And Eve was created.
Before sin entered the world, God showed us that we needed community. Everything was perfect! Adam had a perfect relationship with God, but God still gave him another human being to do life with. The belonging Adam felt wasn’t met by animals or nature; it was fulfilled by giving him another person.
Ever since that time, humans have craved belonging to a community. Historically, it was dangerous to go at life alone. Ancient cultures thrived on supporting one another. Their time was spent gathered together discussing current events and sharing stories.
That doesn’t happen in our modern society. Instead of coming together, we all do our own things. Even if we sit down for a meal together, how often are we looking at our phones instead of those around us? How often do I go home and bury myself in a book rather than ask a friend out for coffee?
Our lives may be very different now, but our core needs are still the same. We still want to belong.
WHY IS COMMUNITY IMPORTANT?
It’s one thing to know we were created for community; it’s another to understand exactly how vital it is.
The author of Ecclesiastes writes, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.”
Since we have so many modern conveniences (heat, electricity, UberEats), it’s easy for us to dismiss needing others to help us. The American Dream thrives on doing things independently. It’s a source of pride and accomplishment for me to know I did everything myself. But as the author of Ecclesiastes warns, someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
There are certain things we can not do on our own. We can’t silence loneliness in isolation. We can’t serve others when we’re alone. We can’t listen and we can’t be heard when we’re not having conversations.
But I would say that the most dangerous part of isolation is that sin grows best in the dark.
Last Sunday, Pastor Darrick shared the impact compromise has on our souls (you can listen to the message here). He warned that sin doesn’t destroy your life in one go; it’s the accumulation of seemingly little compromises. Isolation allows us to make those compromises without many consequences. Sometimes we’re not even aware we are compromising, because the only voice we’re listening to is our own.
“If God didn’t want me to leave my spouse, why do I connect so well with my coworker?”
“I vibe so well with this guy/girl. Surely, God’s cool with us being together.”
“We’re so wrapped up in bills. God understands why we can’t tithe right now.”
Those thoughts all sound completely legit. When things happen so perfectly, when the situations line up just right with what we want, it makes sense to assume God must want it to happen, right?
That’s not usually the case, though. And that’s why it’s so important to be surrounded by people who love us enough to point out our compromises. We need people who can tenderly expose our selfish desires and separate them from God’s purpose for us.
I’m currently studying the life of King David. Throughout his life, God continually brought people to David to help him stay focused on God. There’s one story where David was taken advantage of by a corrupt businessman, Nabal (you can read the whole account in 1 Samuel 25). David and his soldiers had protected this guy’s men and sheep, but when David asked for some supplies in exchange, Nabal claimed he didn’t know David and he was probably just a runway trying to get a quick buck. First of all, everyone knew David. Secondly, this was a customary transaction. Shepherding wasn’t entirely peaceful due to dangerous animals and robbers who found both sheep and shepherds an easy target. It was common to exchange protective services for gifts and supplies.
Nabal’s accusations humiliated David. David was the Lord’s anointed! He had sacrificed again and again for the lives of the Israelites. To treat David like Nabal did was a huge slap in the face. David was so angry, he rounded up his soldiers to kill Nabal and all his men. And he would have, had Nabal’s wife Abigail not stepped in.
Abigail ran to David and apologized for her husband’s behavior. Her husband was corrupt and foolish, and she admitted that David had every right to take vengeance. But she cautioned him: did he really want to ascend to the throne knowing the bloodshed he caused out of his anger, or did he want to reign in peace, knowing that he trusted God to fulfill His promises? Did he want to compromise and do things his way, or would he be willing to trust God’s way?
Thanks to Abigail’s counsel, David turned away from punishing Nabal and allowed God to handle it. About 10 days later, God struck down Nabal, and David’s conscience was kept clean.
Like David, there are times when our feelings are justified. We’ve been hurt or mistreated, and we tell ourselves we have the right to take action. It’s in those moments we need counsel from people like Abigail, people who can point out the temptation to compromise and get us back on the right track. Feelings are valid. There is nothing wrong with feeling hurt or being angry about how you’ve been treated, but dwelling on those feelings too long can cause us to take matters into our own hands rather than trusting in God’s promises.
We need one another to point out our blind spots, the weaknesses we don’t always see. Sometimes we’re so caught up in our own definition of justice and understanding of what life should be like that we forget God’s ways are different than ours. Listening to other people’s counsel helps us see things from a different point of view, often one that’s a little more objective and less emotionally driven.
NEXT STEPS
So, how do we find people who can be the “Abigails” in our lives? I would strongly encourage you to join one of Journey’s community groups (you can find more information here). Now, I know this probably sounds like some marketing gimmick, but it’s not. The importance of community is something I believe with every fiber of my being. I’ll admit that I don’t always do it well, but spending time with people who try so hard to grow spiritually has challenged my own growth more than I can explain.
From what I’ve learned and studied, none of God’s commands can be followed in isolation. We have to be in community with other people if we truly want to live out the lives He has called us to.